Self harm or “cutting” appears to be an increasing epidemic in our youth. Working with youth in schools and various settings since 2001, it seems to have taken off. So, why cut? Cutting is used as a way to cope with the discomfort of powerful emotions. For instance, bullying, self-esteem issues, relationship problems are all common stressors that are behind this negative coping mechanism. Perhaps their feelings are so intense that they don’t quite have the coping mechanisms to relieve the emotional pain.

Lyness D’arcy at Teenhealth.org https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/cutting.html explains that teens can cope better with major life events and overwhelming emotions with the help of a mental health professional. Self harm or “cutting” can become habit forming by the person getting a false sense of relief from cutting. The brain starts to connect the false sense of relief to the cutting behavior. As a result, the behaviors can feel like an addiction. A person may feel that they need to cut to cope with their feelings. When they have difficult feelings, the thoughts go to cutting.

Identify the trouble that’s triggering the cutting. Cutting is a way of reacting to emotional tension or pain. Try to figure out what feelings or situations are causing you to cut. Is it anger? Pressure to be perfect? Relationship trouble? A painful loss or trauma? Mean criticism or mistreatment? Identify the trouble you’re having, then tell someone about it. Many people have trouble figuring this part out on their own. This is where a mental health professional can be helpful. http://sioutreach.org/

If you or someone you love have a problem cutting please reach out for help. Admitting you need help can be challenging. Cutting can make you conceal your feelings from the world even more. A feeling of shame is commonly associated with these behaviors. However, many feel a sense of relief after telling a trusted adult. Forms of non-suicidal self injury are not something to dismiss. If you need further help or guidance, please call Therapy SRQ at (941) 202-3432.

What Parents Should Watch For

Self-harm isn’t always obvious. Teens who cut are often very good at hiding it. Long sleeves in summer, reluctance to change for gym class, or unexplained scratches they brush off as accidents from the cat — these are things to notice. But more than the physical signs, pay attention to emotional shifts. If your teen seems increasingly distressed, withdraws from the people they usually trust, or seems to carry a heaviness they can’t explain, that’s worth a conversation. One of the hardest things for parents is knowing how to respond. Your instinct might be fear, anger, or even disbelief. All understandable. But what your teen needs to hear is: “I’m not angry. I’m worried. And I want to help you figure this out.” NAMI recommends approaching without shock or judgment — teens who feel shamed are less likely to open up about what they’re going through.

How Therapy Helps

In our practice, we work with teens to understand what’s driving the self-harm — the emotions underneath it — and build healthier ways to cope with that pain. It’s not about just stopping the behavior; it’s about giving your teen better tools so they don’t need it. This often involves working with the whole family, because self-harm affects everyone. Family therapy can help parents learn how to support their teen without accidentally making things worse, and individual teen sessions give your child space to process at their own pace. If your teen is self-harming, please don’t wait. Call or text Therapy SRQ at (941) 202-3432. We have offices in Sarasota and Venice. If there’s immediate danger, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline).